Is it appropriate to post or allow friend to post pictures in my social media like FB of me with another male?? even if we are friends but it can come across as more then friends. Is been 3 months that my on-off boyfriend of 4 yrs left the house we share for the 3 years, his excuses was that I would be better without him, is not the first time he leaves but I had been the one who always reach out to him and “convince him to come back”, I want different results so is been 2 weeks that I staring applying the no contact method and he has not contact me either.


Not using the right word could prove to be dangerous in a short message. This can be misinterpreted especially if your ex resents you or if you were harassing them during the breakup. Each of your words have to be well thought out; just like as if you were writing a letter. Text messages aren’t always clear; whether you text ex back or they text you!
I really love your blogs, they make a lot of sense, and I need your help with something. I’m 39 years old and I’m engaged to a woman I adore. Here’s my problem, she nags me all the time. I want to be there for her but it feels like she’s always demanding so much time and energy. I know you’re supposed to “compromise” in a relationship but it seems like I’m making all the sacrifices and I’m starting to feel like this relations...

Avoiding contact is not just a passive-aggressive way to make your ex miss you. It gives you time to do the things you need to do to prepare yourself for a new relationship (whether it's with your ex or someone new!). Take time during this month to get to know yourself as an individual and to work on areas that you may have let slip during your relationship with your ex. If you contributed to the breakup, this is the time to pinpoint your relationship weaknesses and do the hard work to improve as a human being.
I say that because we’ve been together for three years. I just feel like he would’ve figured out sooner than later if I was what he wanted in a girlfriend. Our relationship is/was so great. We talked everyday, some days less than others but at the beginning and end of the day we always made contact. We hung out mostly 4out of 7 days a week. We’ve always made enough time for eachother, and what we want to do ourselves. We hardly ever fought. Of course we’ve had our few disputes, but nothing we couldn’t work through.

We had very profound conversations, sharing the most intimate secrets and trusting each other. The physical part was amazing! After I couldn’t withhold my feelings on several occasions (two –three times during these two months) he started to pull back. The invitations to sleep over stopped all of a sudden, he stopped texting me every day and we have not met now for three weeks. I don’t see anything of what he told me before (that I was a different kind of a woman, that he hardly let someone so close to himself, that I am one of the few people he lets touch and hug him, that he cared about me given that he texted me every day, that I am a person worth having closer and that he didn’t want to hurt me). I try to revive things but every time I ask to meet he comes with “Maybe, if you find time although I am going out this weekend” and after going out “I got so drunk, I have a terrible hangover let’s meet another day” (which never comes), or when I ask whether we would meet he says “Let’s go to the cinema!” and then asks “Have you seen the movies? Although there is nothing good..” and it all stops there.


The rationale is that you will become more attractive and desirable when your ex experience a twinge of jealousy that comes from knowing that other people find you attractive post-breakup. This tactic is called social proof which is very powerful. When other people find you attractive and fun, your ex is more likely to see you the same way as well.
After a breakup, your ex will have one essential need: space. I know that I often repeat this fact, but I always receive numerous testimonies (feel free to leave your comment as well at the end of this article) in which my readers state that they realized that they were way too present with their ex, and that it was detrimental to their chances of getting back together.

Men love a happy woman. When it feels good and pleasant to be around you and to talk to you, we’re drawn to you. When it’s negative and emotionally heavy, we stay away. There is nothing more attractive than a positive, happy woman. Just one little happy, lighthearted text (after a period of no contact that gives him a chance to really miss you), can do wonders when it comes to canceling out some of the negative feelings he may be carrying.
Furthermore, I want to mention something else that is aligned to this. I have seen several woman date a man and then come back and say “He was so into me in the beginning, he courted me and showered me with gifts, said all the right things, and was so eager to make me his.” But then once this man gets what he wants he moves on, and his actions start to change slowly. I call this type of man “the snake.” Men like this tend to be very narcissistic but also tend to get what they want often. They have a thrill of the chase, and they see a significant reward for their ego when they have won their prize. I always tell women to be VERY careful of a man who is too forward in the beginning. Take your time, and challenge someone who may be extremely forward. So many women fall for a man like this because we are hopeless romantics and you are pretty amazing! So, when you a see a man showing you so much affection and attention it starts to get you to think, “wow he is so different!” Right? Then you play this emotional mind game in your head stating “I would be stupid if I let this go.” I am going to explain further as you read on.
The second “bad text” or “bad text messages”, I should say, are what I like to call “Spam Texts”. When emotions are running and high and you’re feeling desperate, all you want to do is just pick up your phone and start texting your ex NON STOP! The problem is… nobody likes spam and nobody wants to talk to someone who’s frantic and desperate. Put yourself in the shoes of someone who’s receiving 20 or 30 messages a day from someone you don’t even want to talk to! Maybe you’ve even been there yourself. Annoying, right?
I spent 6 years with my ex. We were young when we got together and we weren’t good at resolving conflict. But I truly believe we loved each other and that he is the right person for me. We both had a habit of ‘pulling away’. Push, pull, if it wasn’t him, it was me. By the end of it, it was dramatic. It was traumatic for me and him too because we didn’t know how to work it out. Since then we’ve both tried seeing other people. But somehow after 9 months we ended up back spending time together. Getting to know each other again. We started to get close… I never pressured him to be with me but I do love him. I’ve tried to be a lot more understanding of his space. Even his friends have said – ‘this is the best you guys have ever been’… But then shortly after he told me his friend had commented on our ‘changed friendship’ and how close we were getting, he attacked me saying I was getting too comfortable. I was so confused because he had been asking me to stay over and he said he was enjoying his time hanging out. That’s what we established it was. We’ve never put a label on anything and have been free to live our separate lives because of what we have been through there was no use rushing anything even a friendship. I was happy with that and I thought he was too.
Sometimes the break up is so unique or troubling or complex, that it requires some specialized coaching.  Or sometimes, people do better if they can talk to someone who is an expert at helping folks with their relationship troubles.  Well, if you fall into that category, then you are in luck.  All you need to do is reach out to me (i.e. click Coaching Services in my website’s Menu Section) and I am sure we can work out something!
Know that it can take a long time to rebuild trust after cheating. Once one partner loses faith in their partner it can take years to regain the trust that was lost. Any time a cheating partner leaves the house meets up with coworkers, or texts someone new, feelings of jealousy and distrust are natural. Be prepared to work hard, and for several months, to rebuild trust after an affair.

When she texted me, I quickly apologized for not showing how much I care for her. That being the reason why I chose to write to her, hoping to show that I am still in the game. I also mentioned that the long distance “thing” eats me away sometimes. This being another cause for writing to her. After texting her this, she did not respond (as of two days ago).
The way you can make him regret it is by moving on and being happy without him. Positive attitude and change is what draws people back to you. With that said he might reach out again and don't be too easy to let him in. You want to make sure he has changed too. Follow a couple of things I've mentioned in this blog and stick to focusing on you and letting go of him one step at a time.
I hope this helped you understand exactly how to get back with your ex and the exact steps you have to take. Even then, there’s one more thing to remember – even for the women who have had success getting back with ex boyfriends, it can still be very difficult to keep your man… unless you know how to make him want to be with you and only you forever. You need this secret formula to get your ex back in your arms for good. It will reveal how to get him to see you as “the one” and desperately crave you by his side forever. If you don’t read this now you might miss your chance to get him back forever so don’t wait: Do You Want Your Ex Back? Use This To Get Them Back…
It’s mainly for this reason that making up with your ex through text messages can sometimes be a perfect alternative between remoteness and forwardness. In doing so, you are respecting the distance they are seeking while getting back in touch with your ex. However, it usually isn’t enough just to rely on a text to get your ex back. More often than not, you must take the initiative to reach out but also put other plans into motion as well.
Thank you, Ray. I needed a male’s perspective, I’m hurt & all my girl friends are angry, so I can relate to almost all of these posts. I have been with a man that “needs his space” & needs a woman to be understanding about it. It’s hard for me because although we have been in a relationship for just a week over a year, I’ve been in love with him for 20. We had a 2 year off & on thing back then & I was very young & I did not understand him back then. Although I understand him now, it still hurts, & the fear is always there, nagging at me, bringing up thoughts like, is he wanting to see someone else? Am I the one pushing him away with my feelings? Why does he not love me the way I love him? Always wondering if there is someone else, but never really believing it. He told me from day one (a year ago) how he was, & I guess I decided back then I loved him enough I could handle his occasional distance & that I had enough love to push through it.
I waited until the next day and I replied “hey. What’s up?” But he never responded. The next day the SoCal fires started and I texted him a short “hope you and your kids are safe” again, I never got a reply and I haven’t texted him since figuring that if I’m patient, he will eventually reply. Did I break any protocols? I figured since I’ve been doing NC for a little over a year, it was safe to respond to him since he initiated the texting. Is he just playing with me? He didn’t have to text me when my friend gave him my phone number, so what is his logic? He is a grown man with teenage kids so it’s not like he is an immature guy, though he is acting like one with me.
Similarly, Ive seen my brother go through something similar. He did the exact thing with his current girlfriend, he moved out for a week to retreat after a minor conflict, and she was so upset, leaving presents at the door and calling me to find out if he was ok etc. I had to tell her to stop and give him space. He came around, I didnt pressure him and didnt go into it much. But the up side is that he’s still with her now.
Men who pull away are often in situations in which they are playing the field and playing games with women’s emotions. This leads to instability right off the bat. This is where I like to take a moment to tell my coachees that even though they may be single and dating, not every man that they meet is going to have the same intentions. That’s why it’s important for you to love yourself fully, make sure you’re aligned with your goals and stay committed to your values.

I would suggest avoiding generic texts such as: “How are you?” “What’s going on?” This might make your ex a little apprehensive … he doesn’t know if you’re reaching out to be friendly, or if you’re about to unleash on him.  A better way to re-ignite a connection is to bring up a shared memory or experience. This steers the conversation to an actual direction and brings a more positive tone.


Learn to give in. It’s as simple as that. It’s surprising to see that so many individuals fail in a relationship because of this one thing alone. Seriously, how difficult is it for couples to learn to give in selflessly once in a while? Over recent years, men and women have become too bullheaded and stubborn. Couples don’t like to give in, and it’s always my way or the highway. But think about it, if you truly love your partner, seeing them smile or have a good time would make you happy too, wouldn’t it?


This was and interesting article. I’ve been seen a man for nearly a year. He has told me he loves me, but I get mixed messages and it’s causing me to be confused about the longevity of our relationship. He doesn’t plan time for dates or going out. He might say come to dinner the next day, but I might not hear from him about dinner, like he forgot. I feel that a lot of what we do is based on him and although he might ask my opinion, it’s often is not taken. I don’t feel like a priority to him. I’m confused, but I am in love with him. Help
Hi Chris my boyfriend ended our releationship because his mother came in between us he tried to get back together but she threatened to kick him out now he’s telling everyone it’s my fault as he paid for everything when we were together(he didn’t) I’m devestated because I love him and felt we had overcome so much and it is worth saving I’m in no contact and he’s now ignoring me anyway I don’t know what else to do and am hoping for a miracle
I JUST went thru this with my boyfriend of almost a year. He got VERY distant for 2 weeks and when I pushed him to find out what was up, he said he was 50/50 about our relationship and needed time to think. So I gave it to him and NEVER reached out again. I didnt even sign into social media, I wanted him to have no idea what I was up to. After 2 weeks of no contact, he texted me today pouring his heart out about how he messed up and all he thought about was me, etc etc. Everything I’ve only ever dreamed of him saying and he NEVER says his feelings towards me, but has always shown them in affection. We are meeting tonight after he begged to see me to talk. I still can’t believe he admitted he was scared that he messed things up and realized he was throwing away a good thing. We still have a lot to work out, but I think this is a great start. Hang in there everyone who is going thru the same thing!

This article showed you how to text your ex to re-ignite his romantic feelings and give things another shot. But there’s more you need too know. Do you know what to do to inspire him to come back and commit to you for good? Do you know what makes a man truly miss a woman and realize he doesn’t want to live without her? Do you know the best way to get your ex back and make it work? If not, read this next: Do You Want Your Ex Boyfriend Back? Use This to Get Him Back...

So I went. He was extremely shocked and happy to see me… but I was giving him a cold shoulder. I sat there and all of my questions and anger and sadness began to flow out! He listened closely and apologized genuinely but I felt hurt. I left after reeming him out for half an hour, and the next day he called me. He asked me to meet up for pizza in the park and we did. He kept thanking me for coming back to him, and apologizing for having hurt me.
Last year we were about to marry, everyone was veryy happy, hi family and my family met then his mother ask for few details and wanted to do enquiry and all of my family and she said she wont allow me to work, i said yes to everthing as i was in love and wanted to marry him everything was soo good but just after the family meeting i said him that he shouldn’t speak a single word in front of his family as i was expecting him support me and say that its been 5 years we know each and already discussed everthing then i got upset from him , we faught and later on he said everthing to his mother and she start hated me , We broke up:(
He could of went out on a night out in those days, kissed another girl or something. So I wanted him to properly decide his decision before he did this. 2 days after we broke up, I went to his house to give him back his stuff (bad idea I know!), I just wanted to see him so bad and wanted to know his final decision. I knew it wasn’t going to be good and it wasn’t. He didn’t want to get with me.
Men love a happy woman. When it feels good and pleasant to be around you and to talk to you, we’re drawn to you. When it’s negative and emotionally heavy, we stay away. There is nothing more attractive than a positive, happy woman. Just one little happy, lighthearted text (after a period of no contact that gives him a chance to really miss you), can do wonders when it comes to canceling out some of the negative feelings he may be carrying.
If you do it properly, using a text message to get your ex back could prove to be successful. Ideally, it should be used in addition to traditional methods of getting back together. A text at the right time could be a plus when you’re taking the necessary steps to once again win the heart of your ex, but just a text alone will be unlikely to do the trick.
2. After a brief trip down the road of healing past wounds, the next turn in how to fix a relationship is to explore new paths for your relationship – new ways of dealing with similar situations when they arise again in the future. For this part of your journey, remember to keep your eyes on the road ahead. What's done is done. This part of the journey is about creating a plan for a new, better future.
Generally, it’s usually as simple as him needing space. Marriages can be extremely fulfilling in their unity, but at times being around one another too often can feel repetitive and can get stale. Always try to do new things and give each other space when needed. Don’t think the worst is happening just yet. Relationships, especially marriages, always have their ups and downs.
My so called boyfriend lived away from his home for 15 years. Since September he decided to come back home and create a new life here, which i get it’s not easy at all. Meanwhile we met 1 month ago and everything was going perfect we met every day and talked all the time when we weren’t together he even told me that I was helping him not to give up and get back where he used to live.
Im dating a man who is being very consistent with his communication and we see each other every weekend. He is always making plans with me and he reaches out to me all the time. The only issue is that I’m having a hard time feeling like he desires me the way a man should desire a woman. We hang out, we talk, we have so much fun together, we have sex but it feels more like a friend I’m having sex with than a romantic partner. Im physically and romantically attracted to him but I can’t help but wonder if there is a physical attraction issue on his part. He doesn’t seem “into” me like I’m used to. I’m a pretty woman but I know I don’t have those super pretty girl looks so I don’t know. Nonetheless, he isn’t pulling away per se, he just isn’t romantically present. I don’t hear anything sweet or flirty or sexy from him. When I do it to him, he just says thank you and tells me how much he enjoys hearing me say stuff like that. We have a lot in common and we have a great intellectual connection. He’s told his mom, dad and friends about me. But I’m worried because I feel like he doesn’t feel strongly about me in romantic way, even though he spends time with me, talks to me all the time, and admits that he has the most fun with me. It makes me sad because we both talk about how we are happy to have met someone like each other but I can’t help but wonder if having all these things in common and both of us being capable of loving each other the way we always wished someone would is somehow STILL not enough. It makes me very sad.
Absolutely. Why would u even bother with somebody like that. Everybody needs space and that applies to women also but that doesnt mean that u have to distance urself from each other to an extreme where u feel unloved and insecure in the relationship and why should any woman accept that its ok for a man to do this. Imagine if the woman did it…….different story then.

Sometimes guys will think they have just fallen head over heals for someone else.  But sometimes the truth is that it’s not love, bit just pure sex.  So you may be wondering, how will I ever get my ex back if he is hooking up with some other girl.  Well, we are going to get into all that, but for now, just know that sometimes boyfriends will wander off either because they are lured away or that just have not yet learned that they are risking blowing up the good thing they have going with you.
Try answering these questions: Do you miss your ex, or do you miss having a boyfriend or girlfriend? Did he or she make you feel better about yourself, more secure in the world, and happier? Do you imagine yourself with this person in the long-term, even when the excitement of being in love has worn off and you are stuck in the daily routines of life? If you are only missing the security of having someone and the excitement of a dramatic relationship, you can find those things with someone else in a healthier, more stable relationship.

Once you've faced your fear of being partnerless, then, and only then, can you know if you genuinely want your relationship back. "If you only miss your ex when you feel lonely, or when you compare your life to those of friends in relationships but not in moments when you feel happy and confident, it won't make for a very fulfilling relationship down the line," Dr. Bockarova says.
Y’all are making this too complex. Look, a guy falls in love through sex, he needs sex to fall in love, but he’s got to want to have sex with you and thats more than just being hot. It comes down to what you make him feel about himself when he’s around you. Do you make him feel competent, powerful, benevolent, like he’s capable and attractive and trusted? Or do you make him feel he cant do anything right, like a child, stupid, worthless, weak?

I have been with my bf for just over a year lived with him for just over 6 of those, it’s been great he’s really been open and honest about his feelings but for the past month or so I have noticed how much he has thrown himself into work (self employed so can do as little or much as he pleases) and so our time together has dwindled? I challenged him over this as I wanted to spend time with him doing nice things all the time getting “as soon as much jobs are all done” which could be anytime! I truly believe he was now starting his pulling away stage, I am now worried that I have ‘ran’ after him too much and made things much much worse by delaying his pulling away possibly even ensuring he has had enough and is ready to call it a day! Hes working away at the moment and before he went we had another petty argument in which I stupidly told him that we should have some space with no communication whilst hes away (I felt like I couldn’t do right for doing wrong) I’m scared I have ruined it completely now! I self blame quite a lot (past relationship issues) since away he has texted me and told me he is also to blame for these issues and that with time he’s sure we will be alright, Please help what should I do, what actions should I take? If this is pulling away, will he be able to return still or has this gone too far? He’s due home on Thursday, how do I allow him time in his man cave when we live together?
So many red flags! He seems abusive. For starters, he shouldn’t be calling you names and putting you down. And the fact that he dislikes your being independent and ought to be cleaning or cooking for him is so sexist, I can’t even… All this leads me to believe he will be physically and more emotionally abusive as time goes by. Run as far away as possible. I know it’s hard, but I don’t see your situation getting better. Stay safe.
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