So he moved out of my flat but he left the majority of his stuff here at my apartment. I went on a trip and I asked him to take his stuff from my place for good, he had 7 days for that. When I arrived home, nothing happened, his stuff were still here. During my holiday I didn’t contact him, when he messaged me, I didn’t respond him. When I was traveling home he messaged me like “we need to talk.” I didn’t know what could happened, so I replied with a simple “about what?” when he told me he didn’t have the emotional strength to take his stuff and he also was worried about me that if something terrible happened to me or what? So I replied to his messages focusing on the context like “I’m gonna pack your stuff alone” and then he asked me if I need help with it, I answered him with a simple “no”. So did I violated the “no contact rule” here? Can we consider all this as “emergency”? and also do you think I made “one of the biggest mistakes” by being too cold or rude? Please help me, I don’t want to drive him away, I don’t know what to do. :(
I am delighted that you have heeded my advice. I have read the list you have constructed and I am pleased to tell you that I agree with it. Communication helps a relationship grow stronger. Along with that, it is very important to spend time with each other. I highly appreciate your gesture of talking to me about the list. With it, you and your boyfriend will be able to go a very long way. As for the matter of a relationship consisting of two people I greatly admire the last line you have written. It is vital to keep certain issues and matters amongst yourselves. My best wishes to you both.
Work on your self-esteem. If you struggle with neediness, you're probably a little lacking in the self-esteem department. You might be looking for your ex to make you feel better about yourself, but the fact is that you are the only person who can really do that. You shouldn't base your happiness on someone else. It makes them feel guilty, obligated and eventually, resentful towards you.
Guys are going to naturally cycle between wanting intimacy and wanting independence. Trying to guess the reason is impossible – some guys want space to reflect on the relationship, some more insecure guys may even want space because their friends make fun of them for being “too whipped”, some guys want space because they need time alone to clear their heads and gain clarity in life. Maybe hes struggling with a personal issue, or with his work. The reason could be anything for a multitude of different reasons.
I was in a relationship with a guy who suffers with depression we had our ups and dwn i started txting an ex over a year ago it stopped 5 mnth after he my bf found out and we gt through it we drifted apart bout 4 mnth ago but was txting he wanted me bk 2 week ago told me he misses me etc i spoke to him on phone 2 week ago he said we need to talk so i arranged to go out sat he never turned up then txt me saying he dnt want to be with me thats when i started hounding him txt messages phone calls which in en he blocked me he came ova a week ago to talk he clamed up woundnt talk to me told me i was pushing him away hes got things in his head agen bout me txting my ex i miss him so much dnt know what to do started 30 day no contact i am in such a state at minute
None of the articles – or the report about when men pull away – seem to address a man pulling away/refusing to talk or see you after an argument or altercation of some kind. Last week after sex which was really great, he wanted to stop for some reason I’m not sure of, and I got teary and upset. (Looked it up since and it was probably post-coital dysphoria) I was upset and confused and kept asking why he had wanted to stop and said I felt rejected… anyway after about half an hour of me spiralling, confused, he said,… Read more »
If you and your ex have had some cool-down time — meaning that you've had some contact since the breakup and you don't get the feeling that they're super upset — suggesting a casual meeting is totally OK. However, suggesting specifics of when to meet up can definitely feel like you're applying some pressure. Instead, leaving the ball in their court by suggesting you meet up "some time" is a great way of opening up the possibility without coming across as too pushy. This text is super versatile and can totally work if you just want to reconnect as friends, or if you're interested in getting back together but aren't sure where their head is at.
Instead of focusing on how much time he calls, spends time with you etc. Pay more attention at the QUALITY of your phone calls or time together. Is it good? Or are you in a rut? Or is he losing interest because you have nothing to talk about? When a relationship is in trouble, the first sign is the quality of the friendship and connection. Pay more attention to that, instead of the numbers. Trust me, if the connection is strong and the love is there, he will bounce back. But if the connection is lost over time, you need to figure out how to get it back instead of just “moving on” — that is YOU pulling away from this, too. Oh yeah, women can pull away too, basically by shunning the guy.
I really love your blogs, they make a lot of sense, and I need your help with something. I’m 39 years old and I’m engaged to a woman I adore. Here’s my problem, she nags me all the time. I want to be there for her but it feels like she’s always demanding so much time and energy. I know you’re supposed to “compromise” in a relationship but it seems like I’m making all the sacrifices and I’m starting to feel like this relations...
Similarly, Ive seen my brother go through something similar. He did the exact thing with his current girlfriend, he moved out for a week to retreat after a minor conflict, and she was so upset, leaving presents at the door and calling me to find out if he was ok etc. I had to tell her to stop and give him space. He came around, I didnt pressure him and didnt go into it much. But the up side is that he’s still with her now.
The longer the time has been between the breakup and point of contact, the more of a conversation you might owe him. Reach out to him to meet up to talk, and be explicit in that you want to talk to him. Show him how you’ve changed over the last year and how you have become a less reliant woman. Remind him of the stunning and self-assured you that he fell in love with in the first place.
Between one technique for getting back together and another, it’s hard to know which one is the most efficient. Should you try radio silence or the hand-written letter? Did the rendezvous that you had with your ex positively conclude your attempt at getting back together, or was it your work on fixing the issues that needed to be addressed what made things right again? Only the help of an experienced professional will help you figure out the best thing to do as quickly as possible.
It doesn’t matter if right now, you’re sad about what has happened to you in the past, or maybe even angry that someone has done you wrong, it will all change in the future. You’re about to learn some of the most closely guarded secrets to help you succeed in dating and relationships with men. There are many articles on this website, but there are much more exclusive (not on the website) content inside my private newsletters. So join me.
One thing is for sure; the “classic techniques” for getting back together with your ex will bear fruit sooner than later. Using complimentary actions alone (such as using texts messages to get your ex back) are less sure-fire. These actions need to be combined with something like a handwritten letter for example. This way you can insist on an important point or they can come after the crucial point in getting back together: when you meet up with you ex.

It doesn’t matter if right now, you’re sad about what has happened to you in the past, or maybe even angry that someone has done you wrong, it will all change in the future. You’re about to learn some of the most closely guarded secrets to help you succeed in dating and relationships with men. There are many articles on this website, but there are much more exclusive (not on the website) content inside my private newsletters. So join me.
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