I broke up with my boyfriend around 1 month ago. We have been in a long distance as we come from different countries, and he’s currently on working holiday. We’ve been together for almost 9 months, including 4 months together in both Taiwan and New Zealand. We are both around 25. He said he doesn’t know what he wants, we’re in a long distance relationship, and even if he comes to Taiwan again, he will keep traveling, he will meet new people, thus he decided to break up with me as he felt he’s not ready for a long-term relationship, even if he cried and it was a hard decision for him as well. He said we could still be good friends even if at that time I didn’t think so.
Now, a lot of men will not be in a relationship if they don’t feel secure within themselves. This is especially true if the woman is someone beautiful and independent. For example, a man may pull away if he is not financially secure at the moment. This is something that may help him feel superior, confident, and not wonder if he is good enough for you. Also, he may have certain health issues that he is not comfortable telling you about until he figures things out on his own. Another reason could be instability and or unhappiness related to his job. This can be an additional source of stress and men tend to feel as though they need to feel confident or protected with their primary sources of freedom: Money, Health, and Work.
Wow I can’t believe how much I have written. I just checked and this is getting close to 10,000 words. Ok, we are very close to the end here. This section is all about taking a big risk. More specifically, setting up a date with your ex boyfriend for the first time since your break up. All the experts have a different view of how this should be done. The truth of the matter is that if you played pretty close to the game plan I laid out for you, your ex boyfriend will probably have suggested to meet up IN PERSON by now. However, if he didn’t don’t worry, I have a plan for you!
Talking about your previous relationship with your ex girlfriend can be pretty tricky because it is bound to bring up old memories and not all of those old memories are going to be very good. On top of the “bad memories” things get can get really emotional and if you don’t know how to handle those emotions the conversation is going to eat you alive.
i know this sounds ridiculous but i met this guy on a facebook game, he asked for my number but i refused to because well why would you want give out your number to a stranger he could be a scam. okay so he gave his instagram id and downloaded kik just to text me. we clicked right away. we spent days and days talking, flirting and joking and i sacrificed my time just to text him because of timezone. one night, he confessed that he had feelings for me that he never felt this great in a long time so i told him i feel the same way (tbh i’ve never fell in love this hard before) and we dated. i won’t deny that i love taking to him and i never believed in ldr before he came. we had few arguments tho, but it wasn’t serious. After days passed by, he went disappeared which i think he deleted his kik. We were good at that moment but idk what’s going on so a week later i went to his instagram to find him, just to you know clear this mess up and start over again and be friends, it doesnt matter if he changed his mind or met a new girl near him.. i just wanted to have a connection with him. The next day, i found out that he blocked me. That was a dick move but what’s worse is that i am still madly in love and maybe will die with the curiosity.
I spent 6 years with my ex. We were young when we got together and we weren’t good at resolving conflict. But I truly believe we loved each other and that he is the right person for me. We both had a habit of ‘pulling away’. Push, pull, if it wasn’t him, it was me. By the end of it, it was dramatic. It was traumatic for me and him too because we didn’t know how to work it out. Since then we’ve both tried seeing other people. But somehow after 9 months we ended up back spending time together. Getting to know each other again. We started to get close… I never pressured him to be with me but I do love him. I’ve tried to be a lot more understanding of his space. Even his friends have said – ‘this is the best you guys have ever been’… But then shortly after he told me his friend had commented on our ‘changed friendship’ and how close we were getting, he attacked me saying I was getting too comfortable. I was so confused because he had been asking me to stay over and he said he was enjoying his time hanging out. That’s what we established it was. We’ve never put a label on anything and have been free to live our separate lives because of what we have been through there was no use rushing anything even a friendship. I was happy with that and I thought he was too.
8. Think support. You can make changes on your own, but it is a lot easier with support. Obvious supports are people in your corner – your friend who encourages you, your mother who calls up and asks how you’re doing, a therapist who coaches from the sidelines and keeps you on track. But it can also come from reading and learning more about relationship change, from the online support of others dealing with the same problems. Or even from within you. Take the time to notice not failure, but success, not doing it right, but taking risks. Pat yourself on the back hard and often.
boyfriend just broke up with me chances of getting back with ex Coach Lee does he miss me does my ex think about me does no contact make your ex miss you does silence make a man miss you does the no contact rule work does the no contact rule work if you were dumped ex dating again ex dating someone else ex dating someone new ex getting back together first meeting after no contact Friend zone good texts to send your ex how to get your ex boyfriend back how to get your ex to want you back how to make him miss you how to make him regret hurting you how to make him regret losing you how to make your ex want you how to make your ex want you back how to text your ex Is no contact working is there hope to get your ex back just dumped limerence limerent object no contact dating no contact ex boyfriend no contact period no contact rule no contact with kids power of silence after break up radio silence to get ex back should i get back together should I respond to ex during no contact should you ignore a text from your ex should you use guilt to get your ex back signs my ex boyfriend still has feelings for me signs your ex wants you back stages of no contact texting your ex will my ex move on during no contact
A lot of people think that when they implement Radio Silence (No contact) with their Ex Bf, that it is all about denying them or punishing them. But that is not it at all. It is really about allowing your Ex Boyfriend time to get over his anger and resentment and sort through his feelings. Make no mistake, bitterness is usually just hovering over a break up couple and your guy might be holding on to his fair share. So allow for some space. Once the ugly thoughts are out of his mind, the good thoughts and memories will eventually return as he will most assuredly start missing you, sometimes terribly.
It doesn’t matter if right now, you’re sad about what has happened to you in the past, or maybe even angry that someone has done you wrong, it will all change in the future. You’re about to learn some of the most closely guarded secrets to help you succeed in dating and relationships with men. There are many articles on this website, but there are much more exclusive (not on the website) content inside my private newsletters. So join me.
Talk to his friends. If you have mutual friends or if his friends would be willing to talk to you without telling your ex about it, consider asking them what they think the chances are that your ex would want to get back together with you. They are more likely than you to know if he has a new girlfriend or if he's dying to get back together with you.
Your main goal in this section is to just open up communication. Remember though, you want to be in control at all times. That means that YOU have to be the one to end the conversation. To make matters more complicated you can’t get into a full blown conversation with him yet. This is simply a small baby step that you are using to test the waters and gauge where you are at.
My vibe was affected by stress of school and radiated out into other areas of my life without my realizing…granted my ex never communicated how I was making him feel, but the breakup made me realize what had happened and how i can get those stress levels down and vibe up…I am prepared it is too late…he will never be able to share those vibes. But if he doesn’t hes also missing out because I feel good, a little sad it didn’t work out, but good overall.
whenever I ask him what’s wrong with him it takes a while before I get just one sentence out of him, this has affected our relationship as communication is being lacked. Ik he’s a guy and doesn’t want to seem vulnerable I understand that but we had a over the text argument more like me yelling at him even though for days I have asked him if we can talk in person so we can settle this in person so no communication is being misinterpreted but all he did was bring up lil excuses not to talk to me or I’d ask him when we would be able to and he’d be like “Idk” and because of that I would overthink everything and then just hold everything in until finally I exploded. I usually hold my tounge with being sweet and patient and I was like that for about 3 days but I was done with him not talking about what is going on with him and us and it all started when I gave him the impression that I didn’t want to be in this relationship anymore. We were in the car and I was jumbling all my feelings and not even knowing what I was saying, I said to him that I wanted some space to get myself together so that I could love myself more for this relationship. And I think all he got from me talking was that I wanted space and that I didn’t want to be in a relationship with him because that’s usually something somebody would say if they wanted to end it slowly without saying “I wanna break up with you”. I shouldn’t of worded it like that but keep in mind I was PMSing to the max and I even told him that was why I freaked out on him and to try to understand not to take anything I say personal or even seriously.
Ok, the first tactic is from my own experience. I don’t have any research to back it up but I feel it will work because it worked on me. One thing that always made me a bit jealous (even though I never voice it) was when a girl I felt really strongly about has a bunch of pictures with a bunch of different guys on her Facebook profile. I know that sounds ridiculous but it legitimately made me like “Damn, that guy got to be in her presence.” Here is the key though, if I felt strongly about a girl (who was single) and I saw a bunch of pictures of her getting totally drunk and making out with a bunch of guys I will no longer feel strongly about her. In fact, I might lose interest entirely. So, I would say that your best bet would be to post innocent pictures with other guys. The key is to be really subtle about it but trust me if your man has a Facebook I promise you he will check your profile from time to time.
Hi Sherry, 2 months does not feel right. You’ve been very patient and kind, but 2 months is a very long time. Yes, there ARE some men who can still be committed even though they’ve been absent for 2 months (maybe he’s meditating in a cave or experiencing deep trauma, or dying) – but this is rare. just because he knows what it’s like to be abandoned by his exes too, doesn’t mean he shares the same visceral fear and pain of being abandoned by you as you do with him. I recommend that you read this post, because in… Read more »
Hopefully, these tips give you something to work with, and you will find something that can help you approach your relationship problems in a different way. You don't have to be Freud, you don't have to do it all at once; instead, see which of these ideas catch your attention. Then pick a situation, a pattern, a problem, and map out a different approach, a concrete behavior that you can put into place. Start small. Focus on you. One change will lead to another.
Accept your partner’s faults. No one is perfect, and we often judge our lovers more harshly than anyone else. Your partner is going to make a mistake or hurt your feelings, and it may be difficult to forgive them immediately. However, the only way to stay in love is to know and accept that your partner is not perfect, and forgive them when they are wrong. Accept and appreciate their quirks instead of trying to change them.
Been trying to slowly get my long distance ex back since January, and we’re on speaking terms again now, and even though that’s a huge step forward, I still have doubt. He’s always been a kind of distant person, and since he first reached out to me like 2 months back, I have initiated all conversations since then. I’m suspecting that’s what you call the hot and cold-treatment? Still, I really wanna get him to open up and finally realize that he loves me after all. If y’all have any more tips, I’d love to hear them.
Work on your self-esteem. If you struggle with neediness, you're probably a little lacking in the self-esteem department. You might be looking for your ex to make you feel better about yourself, but the fact is that you are the only person who can really do that. You shouldn't base your happiness on someone else. It makes them feel guilty, obligated and eventually, resentful towards you.
I’ve been in a long distance relationship for a little over a year. We have been through so much in the time we’ve been together and I can honestly say that I am in love with him. He started to drift away and I kept pushing. Today I asked him did he need a break and he told me he think he did. I immediately felt heartbroken and didn’t know what to do so I panicked. I started to tell him how I didn’t want a break and that I wanted to fix it. I asked him what changed and he told me everything. I then begged him to just try. I realized that I’m forcing the relationship witch will only have a heavier hurt in the end . There’s so much more behind this but here’s the basis. I told him I loved him then I asked him could we please keep trying. He replied I love you too and said okay. Shortly after I regrettably started to nag him to talk to me. He then began to ignore me. I realized that I’m making him feel trapped in this relationship and that’s the last thing I want to do. So I sent him this a couple of hours ago : I realized that I haven’t been being myself at all and I’m sorry for that. I’m forcing you and I don’t want to do that to you. I realized that you were pulling away and I kept trying to push you back in. I’ve always told you that I love you and even if we are not together I want you to be happy. I’ve been thinking about this all night and the dream I had really opened my eyes.i Really do love you and as much as this hurts i never wanted you to feel like you are trapped in a relationship. If you really need a break and need time I’m willing to give you that. I just wish it didn’t have to result to a break because only god knows how much I’ll miss you ♀️ but if it’s what you really want than I understand. I am patiently waiting on a response. I honestly just want to know, if I really give him the time will he come back or have I completely blew it already ?
He could of went out on a night out in those days, kissed another girl or something. So I wanted him to properly decide his decision before he did this. 2 days after we broke up, I went to his house to give him back his stuff (bad idea I know!), I just wanted to see him so bad and wanted to know his final decision. I knew it wasn’t going to be good and it wasn’t. He didn’t want to get with me.
This tactic may be a little harder to implement because it can sometimes depend on the situation that your ex is currently in. Basically you are going to bring up a stressful event very gently and show that you are going to be supportive no matter what with NO STRINGS ATTACHED. This has to be completely genuine otherwise you are better off not saying anything at all.
Now, before I get started with what to text your ex, I’m going to first teach you what NOT to do, so you know, right off the bat, what you absolutely SHOULD NOT do if you want to get your ex back through texting. And let me tell you, after coaching people for 10 years, I can say that the vast majority of people DO commit these huge texting errors… and theses mistakes can sometimes decimate any chance of rekindling a relationship with an ex.
we want to use this type of text messages to bring back the good memories in the your ex’s mind and make your ex start thinking about all the fun things you two have done together. This is vital to help win your ex back becaue you are essentially letting your ex relive the good old times when your relationship was fun, flirtatious and exciting. So, you need to use personal experience to customize your text message.
I want everyone to know what tremendous help Coach Lee has been to me! I had been dumped and had not heard from my ex for many days. It was tremendously painful since in my past experience I had never seen the relationship be revived after being dumped. You can read about strategies which are helpful but if you are serious about getting your ex back, contact Coach Lee. Once I hired him on the case, five days later my ex called. A miracle! He helped teach me what to say and when to say it. He calmed me when I wanted to reach out to my ex but it wasn't the right time. Even when my ex went many days without calling me his vast experience gave me the confidence to be patient. You go through so many ups and downs. He knows what you are going through and calms your fears! He gives you a game plan and helps you execute it through the highs and lows. After five days of hearing from my ex, she ghosted me for 11 days. I freaked thinking now it is all over! Coach Lee helped me be strong during that time! Then my ex called back! A second miracle! We went for coffee! A third miracle! He coached me for the coffee date! We ended up getting back together and I now have a regular call with Coach Lee. He teaches you so many things that help you move the relationship forward. You don't give them what they want you give them what they need! Coach Lee will be my coach for life for the most important thing in life you have, which is your loving relationship with your significant other! -Dr. M.
I’m kind of having the same problem but I’ve given him like 3 months of space should I keep waiting I want to waste all my time waiting on him but I really really like him even lives in Canada and I live in FL we wanted to make it work and eventually move closer to where the other is but then after a very close father figure passed away he started distancing himself more and more we’ve known eachother for 3 almost 4 years :(
You begin interacting with the thoughts in your head rather than with the person in front of you. Rather than trying to learn who he is and what he’s about, you look at his behavior and the things he says as a means to measure how he feels about you… and whether you’re getting closer or further away from your goal of having a relationship with him.
So I started up with this guy about 6 1/2 years ago I was 19 he was 27. I lived in another state at the time and would see him when I came to visit family. When We first started hanging out he would take me to fun places around the city. We ended up sleeping together. He still was showing me attention and we were having fun together. He was sweet and funny and showed me respect. He’d call and talk to me on the phone while I was back home. I came into town for a lil while and had car trouble and no longer had a ride home. He offered to drive me and my friend home. He brought his cousin along to have someone to drive back with and the whole ride back to my house about 6 hr drive he sat in the backseat with me holding my hand and kissing me while his cousin drove. We get to where we are going and he ends up staying the night before hitting the road in the morning. Calls me when he makes it home and tells me about the drive. We continue to stay in touch. Couple months go by and two of my friends and I decide to take a trip to the beach this particular beach about two hours from where I visit family and where this guy lives. So I shoot him a message tell him I’m going to be in his state, he immediately say he wants to come see me. So he drives up there and we stay up all night together watch the sun rise on the beach. He asks me to come back with him. With out hesitation and say yes and there I go with my one tote bag of clothes back to his house. I stayed with him for about a month before going to stay with family. The first two weeks were great. We had great sex and would be cuddled up ever night. We’d go out to grab food maybe get a drink, then he started getting weird. A month goes by and I Decided to go stay with family. Still seeing each other everyday for the most part. I would still go spend the night with him sometimes and then one day he hits me with the I don’t want a relationship With you. Confused as hell asking why and he never had a good answer. He always said it was him not me but specifically said that he didn’t want a relationship with ME, why? I still do not understand to this day. Anyway I ended up finding out that he had knocked up his previous girl and she was having his baby. He already had one kid with his high school sweetheart and supposedly the girl he fell hard for. I honestly don’t think he’s ever gotten over her but the way he talks about her was alway kinda harsh. Anyway here I am feeling crushed and confused by all of this. Then he tells me that he can’t see me anymore he trying to make it work with the new baby mama. Ha that’s funny because the whole time she was staying with him he still would call me and want to see me. She ended up moving out. Things didn’t work out and let me state it was not because of me. So we pick back up and hang out almost everyday again. Having sex most nights me sleeping over and what not. He started confiding in me telling me everything about how he feels about everything besides me. This continues for about 3-4 years I guest a friends with benefits sort of thing but yet we were always doing bf gf things. Yet he still did not want a relationship with me. Not that I kept asking for it I stopped and just accepted the way things were because I cared about him and I wanted him near me. He says he just isn’t in the right mind to have a relationship with anyone doesn’t want one. Then he goes to work with family in a different state. We didn’t talk while he was away. As soon as he gets back he’s calling me up wanting to see me. Talks about how his trip was and how he met a girl and that she was his gf while he was there. Ugh I thought you didn’t want a girlfriend? I’m feel stupid at this point but still felt the need to be near him. He ends up leaving to work out of state again and I finally met someone new that made me feel like I mattered again. I’m with this guy for about four five months and not hearing from the previous one that didn’t want a relationship at all. Then boom he calls on Christmas none the less wants to see me. I’m freaking out like a bomb exploded inside me I hated him for what he did with my emotions I had found someone new who made me feel great and he had to try and mess that up. He showed up at my house I kicked him out feeling frustrated and mad like why? Why do you keep coming back to me? I ignored him even when he’d text me telling me to come over or to come drink with him. I didn’t keep it from my man he and I can tell he knew I had unresolved feelings for him but I hated him or I thought I did. A year goes by and Things got complicated with my man. I fell in love with this new man and he broke my heart. So I did something stupid and decided to let the old one back in. Feeling Harry broken and lonely I started sleeping with him again only once in awhile I didn’t want to see him all the time like a used to because I was already hurt. The sex was fun at first but then he started to pull away again trying to tell me he doesn’t want me falling in love with him. I told him what was up and that I loved this other man and that I just need someone near me. We’ve been doing this for two years now. Hanging out having sex sleeping together. He has moments when I feel he generally feels safe and at hone with me and others where he can’t get away from me fast enough. I have no idea what he wants or is thinking like why does he always come back to me. Why does he insist on making me feel like he wants me but doesn’t. I’ve may his friends his family. Why does he insist on making me feel like I’m not good enough for him? Does he like me does he not? I need answers and he’s not giving them to me. When I’ve asked if he even care at all for me he can never answer me directly always try’s to change the subject. Why am I not good enough for him to be in a relationship with me?
Being friends with benefits makes it easy for him to get what he wants and often results in men pulling away. Maintaining a real friendship without an attachment of the desired outcome can give him the opportunity to see you in a different light when he is ready. It’s important to keep your options open and not focus all of your energy on one person if you know what I mean. 😉
This is a great summary of effective means for change - how I approach working with couples and helping people become more assertive and self-responsible. I would just add that often the triggers that fuel repetitive patterns derive from your family of origin. It's said that there are six people involved in every relationship - the couple and two sets of parents (sometimes siblings and step-parents, too) If you're not in counseling, a good way to uncover triggers from the past is through writing. Ask yourself what do these feelings remind me of.
Think about why you want him back. Breakups are never easy, even when the relationship was not a good fit. For this reason, it's crucial to think about your motives for wanting to get your boyfriend back. If you want to get back together because you are sad or lonely or don't like being single, you should probably reconsider. Just because you miss your ex does not mean you should be with him. These feelings will go away eventually, although it may take some time. If you want to get back together because you genuinely care for your ex and you can see yourself having a future with him, then go ahead and try to get him back!
I have not been with many girls before her and to be honest this was my longest relationship, and I am her first real boyfriend. I think at times I got too concerned with things she said or not trusting her and getting upset for no reason simply because I wanted to “win” or try to have her give in and admit I was right in an argument, and this selfish feeling got so bad that I almost broke up with her twice.. I never truly intended to leave her, I just wanted her to admit I was right.. and that was such a terrible and stupid thing to do I know out of anger and arrogance. But through all those words I never stopped loving her, my love never wavered. but lately after the second time we almost broke up she has been drifting away from me, we barely talk at home and in public she seems more happy with friends or makes no effort to go out with me. when I tried to speak to her about it we both apologized for everything but she still said her love has been growing weaker ever since i almost broke up with her and that her heart is closing. One day i tried to speak to hear and she started breaking up with me over a phone message while crying saying she doesn’t know if there is anything left. she kept saying she doesn’t want to leave me but she is tired of relationships at the same time and both of those feelings are equal for her. I apologized once more and begged her to give it another try for at least a month and told her i would change my attitude to let her do as she pleases and accept and love all her flaws like the first month we were together and she accepted, a bit unwillingly i must admit, saying part of her doesn’t want to leave me. but those words of hers are so strong and i am afraid she will not regain her former love for me after the month or a while and she will end up leaving me for good. i am confused and unsure what i should do now.
Furthermore, I want to mention something else that is aligned to this. I have seen several woman date a man and then come back and say “He was so into me in the beginning, he courted me and showered me with gifts, said all the right things, and was so eager to make me his.” But then once this man gets what he wants he moves on, and his actions start to change slowly. I call this type of man “the snake.” Men like this tend to be very narcissistic but also tend to get what they want often. They have a thrill of the chase, and they see a significant reward for their ego when they have won their prize. I always tell women to be VERY careful of a man who is too forward in the beginning. Take your time, and challenge someone who may be extremely forward. So many women fall for a man like this because we are hopeless romantics and you are pretty amazing! So, when you a see a man showing you so much affection and attention it starts to get you to think, “wow he is so different!” Right? Then you play this emotional mind game in your head stating “I would be stupid if I let this go.” I am going to explain further as you read on.
Try not to jump right into another relationship straight away in a bid to make your ex jealous. I’m not saying ‘’don’t focus on yourself’’ but this is not the way to go about things as it only gives a negative message to your ex which may backfire if they do the same thing. so, what can you do to focus on yourself? You can start from appearance (new haircut, new clothes, get down to the gym, eat healthier, etc) keeping a good attitude and staying open-minded. Upgrade yourself with your outer appearance and inner attitude. Be the best version that you can be of yourself. If you’re really wanting to move on, then maybe you want to check out The Best Chat Up Lines to use on girls.